my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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