i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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