Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
