Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
