I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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