i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
