If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
