Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
