your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
