I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
