yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
