dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
