Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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