I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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