belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
