just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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