We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
