i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
