the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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