Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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