Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
