He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
