Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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