no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
