if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
