Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
