New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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