thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
