My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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