Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
