i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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