No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
