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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots

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• (518): View more from New York

  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  There's a naked man in my car right now.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Eat your greens and take your tequila shots

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• (253): View more from Washington

  That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.

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• (714): View more from California

  i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...

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• (916): View more from California

  one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess

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