Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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