There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So vagazzling was a success
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
