I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
