please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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