Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
