She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
