I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
