We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
