I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
