OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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