remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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