I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
