the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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