Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
