And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize