Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have aggressive nipples.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
