It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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