wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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