Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
